13 January 2017
An Explanation for Recent Events
As I'm sure most of you are aware by now, I left the Republic unannounced a few days ago. I did this for a few reason that will be explained in this paper. For those of you close to the situation, you'll know that I wasn't happy with my treatment, but for those closer than that you know that I left for a variety of different reasons that stretch far beyond the game itself. In short, I'm most likely leaving Graal and never coming back. I've come to this decision for a variety of reasons that branch back to my personal life and the game. The following paragraphs will hopefully answer your questions and give some clarity.
I joined this game on April 5th 2011 after it being shown to me by a friend, who I've since lost touch with. For a couple years I went from tower guild to tower guild until I quit and came back in 2013. That year, I joined the State. What wasn't known to me at that time was just how big of an impact the guild would have on my early teenage years. I would make friends that I would never meet, and form close relationships to people on a personal level. I found excitement in things such as ranking up and winning battles, things that I've known for a long time really mean nothing. But once I realized this I didn't change anything, I went on as usual. I've tried quitting a couple times when I didn't have a reason to, but I think now I have the opprotunity to move on.
For me, Graal filled a void in my life. As explained by Roanoke, some of us play the game to fill that social part of our daily lives. I guess you could say I became a bit of a hermit. I pushed people away in my life because I wasn't really skilled socially. But I knew I always had people to talk to on the game, I grew into a figure I guess. Over the last 5 years or so, I've stopped playing sports and my grades have gone down quite a bit. But I still hopped onto my phone at the end of the day to train people I'll never meet on things they'll never use or even fought in 8 hour long battles. I did this because I didn't really have a reason to let go.
So what's changed? Why am I suddenly quitting? A couple weeks ago, Roanoke released his own reasons on quitting and it really, really got to me. I started to reflect on it and I saw some of the things mentioned by him in my own life. I needed to man up and make a change. Over the last few weeks, I made the decision that I wanted to try quitting once again. I also came to the conclusion that Aurea, and then the Republic would be my last hoorah. But since then, I've lost pretty much any interest I had left in the game. And with school starting up again I had the perfect opprotunity to leave. When I started putting less and less time into video games in general towards the end of last semester, I had a huge change. My multiple C’s turned into almost all A’s and B’s. We're my shortcomings all connected back to Graal? Of course not, but it definitely had a lot to do with them.
I'd like to thank a few people for their support and friendship over the course of my time on the game. First off, I'd like to thank Roanoke. Even though you left the game in a hurricane of controversy you helped me in ways you couldn't imagine. Even though half the time nobody knew who you were because of your multiple identities, you helped me almost since day one. I think the biggest thing though is your role in helping me make changes, even if you didn't directly do so. You also gave me opprotunities to lead even when nobody else did so. Between the game and what we've done in the wikia itself it's definitely been a hell of a ride.
The second person I'd like to thank is Vulnus. I think our history is complicated and even I don't really know it thanks to my horrible memory. But according to you, I was once your infantry commander back in SAFF. Since then, you’ve been a good friend of mine and always gave me leadership opprotunities. The Consilim family was one of the first ones I joined, and most recently I was admitted into my first exclusive family line. You've really been my go to officer over the last few years. The Kingdom was a blast. By the way, I'm really sorry about how the Republic went down. Thanks for sticking your head out for me.
The third person I'd like to thank is Fessler. You've been “Fessler” for a while now, but before that you held many different names. Honestly, I don't remember much about Aurelia or other guilds I was in that you managed or helped manage. Anyway, you really lit up boring guild even if I hated you for it. I know things really went downhill in Aurea. But seriously, if some of the stuff you said is true please get yourself out of it. Fix your life my man.
Another person I'd like to thank is Kat. Yeah, I know things went down really shitty. But you really thought me how to speak to people believe it or not. I know people really hated you and how you hated me sticking up for you, but seriously thank you. Honestly, please just quit the game. It's doing you more harm than good. The fact that you left for months on end proves that you can do it.
Even though he probably won't read this, I'd really like to thank Shaw. To some, he's just another admin. But before he took that position and even after he did he was the one who got myself and many others into the abyss of Graal. Beyond that, he's made the two heads I've mainly used during my time on the game. Even though he doesn't really play anymore but whenever he hops on it's nice to stay in touch.
Speaking of people who will never read this, I'd really like to thank BanesBrutal. He was never in a military and most of you don't know him, but it's possible without him I would've quit a long time ago. We helped each other when we first started out, making guilds in hopes of being the next guild to 1000 tower hours. Obviously he went on and did just that with Voyage. But hey, we all go down different paths. Seriously, someone send this to him.
I know I have a lot of people to thank, but I'd rather this not turn into a 10 page sob story. I mentioned earlier that I was a bit of a shut in, I think that can be proved when I literally dated someone over a game. But I think I can finally move on without any regrets. Believe it or not, I'm going on my first ever date at the age of 17. And I'm really psyched about it, obviously. I think I can finally move on without having an urge to return.
Anyway, I'm really sorry about this but I'd rather not stay in contact with any of you. It'd just pull me back into the game even though that's the last thing I need. Im a little less than a year, I'll be applying to colleges. And I'd really like to avoid having to spend the first year or two of my adult life at a community college. I've already done my best to sever ties. I'll probably check into the wikia every so often though, old habits die hard.
My last message is this, get out while you can. Graal pulled me in like a game has never had, I've spent about two-thirds of an entire calendar year playing this shitty game and have poured hundreds of dollars into it. Seriously, keeping your image up on an online game is such bullshit. Move on and focus on real life stuff. Go get real life friends, a real life job and for god sakes stop watching anime, it's cringy. (looking at you Auel)
Cheers, and best of wishes.